the lightning

I just can't walk by without my heart
I saw myself dressed in white waking from a dream this morning
I dreamed of a world where green only masked the ruddiness of the brown
and instead of white, be wrapped in it

I think of so much more, you, and I think of so much more

I dream of being a warrior and I can't walk by without my heart but I've
been doing so all along
I am afraid to walk without my heart
As that is what I do right now

And I walk along, as you happen to walk near
You sneak glances at me, and familiarly I thought you almost would again
Place your dirty little hand around her the many hers there have been
Not this time, You still ask of me when you think I'm not looking listening
You catch my eye and look away to see your dirty little hand touch her once again
This time it didn't work, particularly she wasn't of that kind
But not this time, this time I see above my eyes, this time you face me
As he places his dirty hand by me, just for a minute
And thinking I can't see, your glance stays longer and visits me repeatedly
I sit here thereafter still without understanding wondering how after so long
Everything of you still remains the same

Here I am I think of him and him and many hims

I cross my fingers and wish, take me away to a world where green only masks the dirt
In between our fingers That every waking day I touch my face the smell reminds me of you

This dirty feeling in my chest, I want to go away as the red muddy river reminds me of the
heart I am too afraid to walk without

I do not understand how or why I matter to the owner of those dirty fingers of a coward
The fingers of you who cut the string
Do not ask of me
Do not treat me as a dog waving a piece of meat in front of my eyes -and then eat it
Do not know of me
Do not pay attention to me
Do not wish of me
Do not remember me
Do not expect of me
Do not wonder of me

Will you be like him? Will you end up like him too? That only after years that you realize you lost me, you'll come back with a confession, and thinking you hooked and bait trapped, will offer me the world?
And then pull back and forth back and forth, for my attention once again?
But to be honest, I would not mind this, I feel disgusting by the dirty hand, and my heart.
I know that in order to have this, the time will come when the desire nearly dies.
Everything everything once again, rattles around in my skull

I search for that world where I can grasp the brown dirt in my fist
I refuse to let my life fly by
So I walk, without a heart
And it is such freedom, honor, and bravery
It will eventually die without me there

But suddenly this hope rises in me
and I feel I know there is a way to go
Coming just around the corner

Is there a limit to how much you can love somebody?
No matter how much I hurt him or get hurt by him,
I find myself, far from hating him, actually hoping
that those wounds will scar, like burns
because then you can never forget me
and you will never, ever be able to leave my side.
Loving someone so madly and helplessly like this
I will never love like this again.